Tuesday, October 18, 2011

ATTACK OF THE HORROR HOSTS: MIDNIGHT MASSACRE THEATRE WITH SINISTER MINISTER AND THE ALTARGIRLS By Harriet Von Lupin

OWW-WOOOOOO!! Hi there, gang, and Happiest of Halloweens to everybody out there in Internet Thingy Land! This is Harriet Von Lupin, your roving reporter for The MonsterGrrls' Thir13en For Halloween, featuring the Attack Of The Horror Hosts! Today I am bringing you an interview with a guy who is just totally out there. He's the Sinister Minister, who hosts wacky horror movies with his Altargirls for The Midnight Massacre Theatre in Las Vegas, Nevada, and he's just so weird. He's this evil demented undead half-vampiric satanical-like dark priest (although we don't hold that against him--hey, dude, everybody's got their quirks!), hosting and commenting on the flicks he presents from deep inside his creepy Chap-Hell Of Horror, and being attended by his amazing Altargirls all through the show! Looks like what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, unless I blog about it first! So here's my interview from deep inside the Chap-Hell's darkest catacombs with the spooky Sinister Minister!

Dude, you are like, something. Welcome to The MonsterGrrls' Thir13en For Halloween, and would you please share with us about yourself and what you do?


Greetings, Harriet. It's a pleasure to make your acquaintance...and thank you...you are certainly "something" yourself! Well...I, among other, less complimenting adjectives, am a TV Horror Host. I have a show based out of the "City of Sin", Las Vegas, entitled The Midnight Massacre Theatre, and it's rather self-descriptive...basically, we massacre "B" and classic horror films in the most sadistic way comprehensible on late-night TV, on the national digital network, TUFF TV.

So how did you, an evil demonic vampiric preacher, get to be a horror host? Where'd you meet the Altargirls?

Well. That is quite a story... centuries old, to be exact... here's the short version. In life, I was, at a time, a Priest in the Order of the Catholic Church. I never did fit in, seeing that I had difficulty staying away from the female students of the academy where we were serving... you can imagine how that goes against the "norm" for most Catholic Priests, eh? I also, admittedly, tried the patience of the "higher-up's" with these, among other antics they labeled as "blasphemous." You can imagine their disdain at my behaviour... well, this was the Dark Ages, after all, and they showed their disdain by accusing me of heresy, and Witchcraft... and subsequently executing me by burning. Fortunately for me, they were right. During several of my previous forays into the Dark Arts, I had come in contact with and gained the affections of a certain "Succubus" right from one of the deepest pits of Hell! As the flames began to consume me, she swooped down upon the blazing pyre, and infused me with the Vampyric blood and burning Demonic spirit you know and love today! That's how I attained my Altargirl, "Succubus." We have had other Altargirls at our side throughout the ages... Demonica, Lucretia, Widow, Crymsin, Suki, Pyxie, Syren... and currently, Phyxia. And yes...that was the short version... As far as being a horror host, I just kinda "fell" into it. HA!!!

Uh-huh. Well, I’m personally open to interspecies dating, but you gotta be careful ‘cause it doesn’t always work. So what's your favorite horror movie?

Geez, if you thought the previous answer was long... this would take literally pages! But I will say I enjoy all the Universal and Hammer classics as well as anything Vincent Price did. More modernly, any really good vampire or werewolf tale, or anything ghostly and haunting... I will also say that my absolute favorite vampire films are the Subspecies series. And I am quite fond of the Hellraiser films, as well as An American Werewolf in London... and that hardly scratches the surface.

Dude, that is so very! I am totally cool with Uncle Vinnie, the Subspecies stuff and the great Am-Wolf In London, Minister! Where can we see your show?

My show is available in select cities nationwide on the digital network, TUFF TV... as well as certain other cable access stations and the great World Wide Web (of deceit!) at www.themmt.com, our official "grave-site." Do pay us a visit, won't you?

Sure! OK, so this next one is kind of an ecumenical matter… there's a lot of horror remakes today. What's the Sinister Minister's official position on this? Do you like classic or modern horror movies better?

Hmmmm... touchy subject. I will say that I am not opposed to horror remakes; in fact, I actually have enjoyed a great many of them. It depends on how they are presented. I do know that some people are die-hard fans and hate to see their favorite films even glanced at to be re-made. But I must disagree with this outlook. Simply because if not for the idea of remaking these classic films, most of today's younger horror fans would most likely never know of these stories and characters which I believe should be passed on to future generations of horror fans. A perfect example are Rob Zombie's "Halloween" remakes...the Halloween films were always my favorites in the line of the "slasher" film, and I believe that Rob did an amazing job of bringing that character and storyline to modern audiences with enough of a fresh approach as to re-instill the fear into the character. So, if a classic film is re-made well, then bravo, I say!

I like the classic Halloween movie, but I dunno about Rob Zombie much. Hopefully the kids will check out the old and the new, ‘cause that’s what we do! (Hey, that rhymes!) So what is your favorite Halloween memory?

Hmmm.... since I pretty much live Halloween all year, that's a tough one... Perhaps we can say that Halloween night of 2003; that's when the Midnight Massacre Theatre made its debut, haunting the airwaves of Las Vegas for the very first time. That was memorable... but then again, so is every Halloween... just because.

OK, so judging from… well, you so far, I'm almost scared to ask this… but what are you and the Altargirls doing for Halloween? Any special movies planned?

Well, I am glad you overcame that fear and asked, Harriet... we will be terrorizing Las Vegas, as usual, paying a visit to all the local haunts, especially Freakling Bros. "Trilogy of Terror", where we film excerpts for the Halloween show each year. The show will also air on our local government station, KCLV, Cox. Ch. 2 on Halloween night and the few preceding nights. This year’s "Sadistic Sermon" will be, in my opinion, the best film Mario Bava ever made, and a fantastic film to set the Halloween mood... Black Sunday, a.k.a. The Mask of Satan! Ahhhhh, can’t you just smell the burning Jack O' Lanterns now?

Ooh, yeah, pumpkin pastries! We roast up the leftover Jack-O’s and do those every Halloween, baked over a roaring fire! Hey, thanks so much for doing this with us!

No problem at all, Harriet... and thank you for (fearlessly) having us and for being such a gracious hostess. Oh, and just one more thing... LOVE your tail!

(???) What tail? Dude, am I shedding again?

So that is my interview with the Sinister Minister, and you can see his show at the Midnight Massacre Theatre's official website (but I gotta mention, you gotta be 18 or older! It's that Vegas thing again!) I've gotta run 'cause there's so much going on right now with Halloween and stuff, but make sure you come back soon for the next MonsterGrrls' Thir13en For Halloween! With all these horror hosts and stuff we've got going, it's gonna be epic!! OWW-WOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Love to all you monster kids,

Harriet Von Lupin


No comments: