Friday, October 10, 2008

Review Of SWAMP THING and THE RETURN OF SWAMP THING (sort of) By Punkin Nightshade

Howdy! I am Petronella Nightshade, but everbody calls me Punkin, and I am speakin to you with this computer blog. I hope you are well and enjoyin our writin these 31 Days Of Halloween posts. Today I am doin another movin picture review, and this time I got somethin that made me feel right at home, cause it is set in a swamp and I was born and raised in a swamp. This picture is about a feller named Swamp Thing, who is a big green critter what's made from swamp plants.

My feller Stuart helped me a little on this one. Stuart is this boy I'm seein at school who is a right smart, and is keen on comic books and computer games and science fiction movies, and all kind of stuff. So when I told him I was reviewin Swamp Thing he knew right away what I was talkin about, and showed me that Swamp Thing was actually a character that's made by DC Comics, and has his own funnybook. When they made this picture, it had just become real popular in Hollywood to make movin pictures based on funnybook characters, so folks was scroungin around for somethin to do and turned up Swamp Thing. Swamp Thing even got him a TV show and a cartoon show out of the deal, so he didn't do too bad.

This picture starts out mostly bein about Dr. Alec Holland, who is a research scientist that is workin out in a swamp tryin to make a chemical that'll make plants grow anywhere. There is also a girl scientist there, who is also interested in the chemical and kind of got her eye on Doc Holland too. Anyway, as soon as Doc Holland gets his chemical made this evil rich feller named Anton Arcane who's tryin to do the same kind of thing as Doc Holland starts nosin around wantin to get his hands on it for nefarious purposes and such, and you can always tell them kind of fellers like that, so Doc Holland says no dice. Well, old Arcane allows as to how he'll take that chemical, and so he sends a bunch of fellers to beat up Doc Holland and capture the girl scientist, who becomes the damsel in distress for the rest of the picture and bounces around a lot when she runs cause she's big up top like I am. The bad fellers burn up the lab and leave poor Doc Holland for dead, but his chemical falls onto him and turns him into the Swamp Thing, and he starts goin round and beatin them up and chasin them through the swamp, tryin to save the girl, and there's a lot of action and chasin each other and such. It was a pretty good movin picture, to my mind, but it give me the impression that the director, what's Wes Craven, was tryin to be too serious about it and didn't know what kind of picture he was makin. Ray Wise plays Doc Holland, Adrienne Barbeau plays the girl scientist, and Louis Jourdan plays old Anton Arcane. A feller named Dick Durock plays the Swamp Thing, and went on playin it in the TV show, too.

There was another picture made, called The Return Of Swamp Thing. There was folks what thought the first
Swamp Thing picture was silly, but after seein this one I am thinkin that they really must have not liked the new picture. This one was directed by Jim Wynorski, who I have read was wantin to be even more serious than old Wes Craven, but after a while he just kind of throwed his hands up and started makin a picture, and boy howdy, it is a wild picture. Old Arcane is still around, and still tryin to capture the Swamp Thing, but his daughter Abby Arcane comes up to visit him cause she wants to know what happened to her mother, and she is a girl who has had some bad experiences with fellers and likes plants a whole lot better than fellers. Well, she comes up and runs into Swamp Thing, and because Swamp Thing is a little bit feller but mostly plant, he is the perfect feller for her. But old Arcane wants to use Abby for his experiments and such, tryin to make monsters, and so Swamp Thing has to rescue her, and there's more runnin around and chasin and people turnin into monsters and everythin. Louis Jourdan and Dick Durock are back playin Arcane and Swamp Thing, and Heather Locklear is Abby Arcane, the girl who falls in love with Swamp Thing. There's more love goin round in this picture than the first one, cause there is a scene with a couple of mercenary types, and one is a girl and one is a boy, and they start showin each other their scars that they got on various adventures, and they get kind of excited and start likin each other. I am thinkin that this is what folks mean when they talk about bein kinky.

Anyway, I am done here, and I shall be back with another postin soon. I hope that you enjoy these movin pictures if you decide to watch them, and blessings be on you and yours. Happy Halloween!

Petronella Nightshade