Sunday, September 13, 2015


Punkin's Easy-Bake Coven
Howdy there!  This here is Petronella Nightshade, what am Punkin, and welcome to this year’s MonsterGrrls’ Thir13en For Halloween.  Today I am doin the Easy-Bake Coven, which will be givin you some recipes and such that you can try at home for the season. 

Most mamas out there will be wantin to give their young’uns a good supper on Halloween night before everbody goes out for tricks and treats, so they won’t fill up on all that candy and everythin.  Also, some of you who is throwin Halloween parties might want a good meal to serve your guests, so I am startin off with a recipe for y’all that is a crackerjack.  This is called Harvest Moon Stew, and it’ll fill you up and keep the cold out on a chilly fall evenin.

What You Need:
Harvest Moon Stew
2 frozen chicken breasts what has been took off the bone or ain’t got no bone, and what has been skinned (deboned, boneless or skinless)
1 can of rotel tomatoes
1 can of kernel corn, with the juice (undrained)
1 can of black beans, with the juice (undrained)
1 block of cream cheese (1 16-ounce box or two 8-ounce boxes)
1 packet of dry Ranch dip mix (use your favorite)
1 teaspoon of chili powder
1 tablespoon of cumin
1 teaspoon of onion powder or bottled onion juice

What You Got To Do:
This here is cooked up in a crock pot, which is a contraption what works a lot like a witch’s kettle except it’s got electricity so you ain’t got to build a fire under it, and it’s a lot easier to carry around.  Start by layerin all the ingredients in the order we listed them in the crockpot, set the dial to High and let it cook for about six hours.  You can cut back your time a little if you’re usin thawed-out chicken, and as everythin starts breakin down, give it a stir now and again durin the cookin time.  This makes a real good smell when it’s cookin.

When the time is up, take the chicken out (lettin all the good stuff on it drip back in the pot) and shred it up.  Put it all back in the pot, stir it up together good, and then serve it over cooked rice or noodles.  If you’re servin this at a party you better make up a lot and stand back cause there’s goin to be a run on it.

And that is all there is to it, and my ain’t it a simple one to be startin with.  If you’re used to cookin in a crock pot you might think you ain’t done much of a much the first time you try it, but it’s a mighty good chew that tastes like you spent forever and a day on it.  Y’all be sure you come back for our next postin in The MonsterGrrls’ Thir13en For Halloween, cause we’re startin up early this year and you know it’s always first one thing and then another with us when Halloween time rolls around.  Blessings be on you!

Petronella “Punkin” Nightshade

MAD DOCTOR’S NOTE:  The MonsterGrrls give special thanks to Paul Brown, who shared this recipe with us.

Sunday, September 06, 2015


Cheapskate Horrorshow

Welcome back to The MonsterGrrls’ Thir13en For Halloween, and today Cheapskate Horrorshow is covering one of the Monster Shop’s favorite modern horror films, I Sell The Dead, the debut film of Irish director Glenn McQuaid. 

The poster
Though it is a modern horror film, ISTD is a period film set in the Victorian era.  The film opens on the execution day of grave robbers Willie Grimes (Larry Fessenden) and his accomplice Arthur Blake (Dominic Monaghan, he of Lost fame).  While Grimes is dispatched quickly, Arthur is visited in his cell by one Father Duffy (Ron Perlman, doing a scene-chewing Irish brogue) who wishes to record a statement from Arthur to be used as a cautionary tale.

The scruffy pair, being scruffy
Arthur recounts his career of grave robbing with Willie, which begins in his youth and goes on to fruitful but stagnant fulfillment under the continual threat of blackmail from Dr. Quint (Angus “Tall Man” Scrimm of Phantasm fame), who is using the pair to gain corpses for illegal medical study.    

Things take a turn for the better when the two dig up and release a vampire, which leads to the pair deciding to become supernatural-based grave robbers, a new apprentice/love interest for Arthur, Fanny Briars (Brenda Cooney) and a confrontation with a group of vicious grave robbers known as House Murphy, consisting of disfigured assassin Valentine (Heather Bullock), insane enforcer Bulger (Alisdair Stewart) and their brutal leader Cornelius (John Speredakos).  Under orders from their unseen leader Samuel, House Murphy tries to dissuade the Blake/Grimes team, leading to an eventual confrontation over a shipment of crated undead… and things go mightily awry, because zombies.

All in an evening's work
The cast responds to news of a possible ISTD reboot
I Sell The Dead is a fast-moving and funny movie which recalls the days of Hammer Films’ period shockers, while at the same time being a loving sendup of same.  For a low-budget B-picture, it seems to get the Victorian period right simply by not trying very hard; all the sets, props and costuming have a good feel of hard use and squalor rather than high polish.  Sight gags and anachronistic humor abound; one standout bit of dialogue in particular involves Arthur’s sampling of a new invention called the sandwich (“it’s genius”).  Monaghan and Fessenden are the perfect pair of seedy but sympathetic rascals, and the assorted Murphy clan provide a nice punch of comic-book villainy (helped in no small way by the use of comic-art illustrations in their introductory scene).  The DVD even includes a mini-comic that tells the movie’s story, and special features include commentaries with Monaghan, Fessenden and director McQuaid, plus visual effects and making-of reels.  Give this one a try for Halloween viewing if you want something more modern yet still reminiscent of horror’s gory-glory days.

Be sure to return for our next installment of The MonsterGrrls’ Thir13en For Halloween, and don’t forget to tell the others…

I Sell The Dead is available from and most video rental/online streaming services.  Check it out.


So last year we didn't finish our Thir13en For Halloween.  We got sidetracked.  We got tired.  We got seriously misled by person or persons, and then we were dumped like a cheap latex corpse in a cardboard coffin.  We barely survived.  And Halloween was almost ruined.

But we are back.  And this year, things will be different.  And you'll get some extra posts along with our traditional Thir13en, to make up for our being led down the primrose path.

And, to those who misled us:  We may not have the rights to Halloween, but we definitely have the franchise.  If you would steal away our happiness and our energy and our celebration of our Ghost Wonderful Time Of The Year, just remember one thing:

Halloween is coming.  And so are we.


Here we come...