Sunday, October 24, 2010


Good evening, darlings, and thank you for reading. Bethany Ruthven here, and I welcome you back to The MonsterGrrls' Thir13en For Halloween. This time I am reporting with a new edition of Tales From The Monster Shop, where my Grrl-friends and I interview those who are doing their own parts to make this Halloween season special.
This evening's interview is with someone a bit unusual: Master Ormon Grimsby of Raleigh, North Carolina. Mr. Grimsby describes himself as "an undertaker for the already undertaken" but he also seems to function as the host of a TV program called Monster Creature Feature, which reports on horror happenings in and around Raleigh as well as showing late-night horror films. I made the journey to Raleigh recently and was received by Mr. Grimsby in the elegant squalor of his funeral parlor, where we sipped hemlock tea and held the following conversation.
Darling, thank you for receiving me this evening, and for joining us on The MonsterGrrls' Thir13en For Halloween. Would you please inform our gentle readers about yourself and what you do?
Why, certainly. My name is Ormon Grimsby, and I am an undertaker for the already undertaken. You see, some of my monster friends like... adjustments, shall we say, from time to time, just like the living.

I find that most interesting, because my sources tell me you are the host of a program called Monster Creature Feature, which shows horror films and reports on horror-related events and media. When did you decide to become a horror host, and what was your earliest influence towards this end?

Horror host... what's that? I do broadcast a transmission from my parlor out in the back woods of North Carolina. But you see, this is because some time ago during a freak storm, the transmission tower for the station next door was struck by lightning. The cables for the tower were downed and somehow landed in the swamp next to my 'workshop'. Ever since then I have had a direct link to the TVs of Raleigh and occasionally visit the fine folks in their homes and show a little home movie from my library.

...I see. Well, may I ask, what is your favorite horror movie? Do you like supernatural or sci-fi horror films?
Favorite horror movie... that's a toughie. But I do like the classics; I would have to say its a three-way tie between Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein, The Fearless Vampire Hunters, and John Carpenter's The Thing.

Delightful choices all. Your biography on your website describes you as medically talented and a gifted mortician. How would you create your own Frankenstein monster?
Frankenstein was an amateur. He had no vision for his creation. He just wanted to animate life; why not start with a squirrel if that is your only aim? I would start with, "What are my needs?" A tall red head, fully loaded, able to destroy a torch wielding mob with heat vision, not afraid to pick up scraps around the house, and enjoys pina coladas and formaldehyde. Sounds like my personals ad...

Well, someone's anyway. But let's return to horror films. Which do you think is better, classic horror or modern horror?

Modern horror means different things to different people depending on age. I just like good movies, old or new.

A good answer, that! Can you tell us your future plans for Monster Creature Feature?

Our own cable station that runs 24/7 from the Ormon Grimsby Ice Scream Parlor. But until then, it's public access and the web, interviewing as many interesting folks involved with monster pop culture as possible.

Well, all great entrepeneurs must start small and work up. But let's discuss our mutual holiday. What's your favorite Halloween memory?

My fondest Halloween memory... boy, another toughie. I loved the days when you could go out door to door alone, with a pillowcase with hundreds if not thousands of other children and hit as many houses as your little legs could get you to. I remember one year having to come back home to empty my pillow case because it was too heavy a couple of times, and then going back out. You would get all kinds of stuff back then too: small toys, popcorn, apples, candy, and the dreaded stack of pennies. That feeling as a small kid that it was a special night, monsters could really be out and about because it was Halloween, and because you were alone or with a small group of friends you paid attention to every crackle off of the sidewalk. We also used to make our own costumes the week of Halloween, and that was a great part of it as well. What could you come up with in a week or two's time? Of course there were the years of the store-bought fire-retardant costumes. It is tough to pick one memory. It's easier to pick out when it stopped being all of the above.

Why, Mr. Grimsby, I do believe you've just encapsulated a most proper Halloween spirit indeed. What will you do for Halloween this year?

This year I am hosting The Halloween Hullabaloo in downtown Raleigh, where we will have The Straight 8's, The Tremors, and the surf instrumental band The Atomic Mosquitos from DC all playing in a night of pure Halloween entertainment. We have a bunch of the show with Ormon pre-recorded in old school 3-D and all guests will be given 3-D glasses to view the show. It's going to be an amazing night for all!

It sounds like a lovely time. Thank you very much for visiting with me, and participating in our own Halloween party!

No problem. Thanks for asking the old moldy monster to be a part of your Halloween!

As you can see, Mr. Grimsby is a most personable if slightly odd fellow, and one would do well to view his broadcasts, so do click our title link above and visit the Monster Creature Feature website, where one may find out more about Mr. Grimsby and company, as well as observe media and purchase collectibles from the show.

Do return soon for more frightful delights from The MonsterGrrls' Thir13en For Halloween, and pleasant screams and Halloween dreams to all our readers!

Bethany Ruthven