THE RUDOLPH TRILOGY, Part One: Punkin Nightshade Reviews RUDOLPH THE RED-NOSED REINDEER

MAD DOCTOR'S NOTE: Punkin Nightshade has undertaken a three-part review of Rankin-Bass's trilogy of stop-motion films about Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. She kicks it off for today's post with her review of the original 1964 special. --M.D.

Hey, y'all! This here is Petronella Nightshade, but most everbody calls me Punkin. Today I am doin the first part of a three-part review of some movin pictures about Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer. This here Rudolph is a mighty popular feller for a reindeer, cause he got his own song and everythin. His song was writ by a musician named Johnny Marks, and the first recordin of it was done by the cowboy feller and movin picture star Gene Autry. But the one what originally created Rudolph was a feller named Robert L. May, who was employed with the Montgomery Ward stores round 1939. Today it is still a popular song round Christmastime, and in 1964, the Rankin-Bass company produced the first of three TV pictures about Rudolph. Gorry if this ain't somethin, that a reindeer can do all this!

This here picture was made usin the stop-motion animation technique, which I have done reviewed about already cause that Tim Burton feller does pictures with it. It tells about Rudolph bein born up at the North Pole with his nose lightin up and such, and how his folks try to hide it at first. Now, can't nobody help bein born different, but Rudolph goes along with it for awhile. But it turns out that Rudolph ain't the only one at the North Pole what's different, cause there is a little elf feller in Santa Claus's workshop name of Hermey, who wants to be a dentist instead of makin toys, and of course the elf what heads the shop is givin him the very devil for it. Now to my mind, havin their own dentist up at the North Pole would be a right practical thing, but some folks got to find out common-sense doins on their own.

So after Rudolph and Hermey get introduced to everbody watchin the picture, Rudolph is out at the Reindeer Games, what is used to help Santa see if the new reindeer younguns are fit to pull the sleigh and also to make that part of the song about not lettin Rudolph play in reindeer games make sense, which all has to do with the plot. Rudolph got mud all over his nose so it won't shine, and he looks just like any other reindeer what has a real big nose. He meets another little reindeer called Fireball, and a little girl reindeer called Clarice who tells him he's cute, which natural makes him jump higher than anybody else. Then the mud falls off his nose and everbody sees it, and Fireball and them all start laughin at him and send him off. Clarice goes after him, but her father don't want her bein squired around by a red-nosed reindeer, so after that poor little old Rudolph just runs off and durn if I wouldn't have done the same thing.

Well, soon after that he meets up with Hermey and they sing a song about goin off to seek their fortune, but pretty soon after that they run into a prospectin type of feller named Yukon Cornelius, and then they run into a big old Abominable Snowman what ain't too smart and really don't like Rudolph's nose. Most of the rest of the picture is about them runnin around tryin to escape the Abominable Snowman and endin up on an island called the Island Of Misfit Toys, which is headed over by a big old flyin lion called King Moonracer who wants Santa to come and find homes for all them misfit toys. Everythin turns out all right in the end, cause it sure wouldn't be much of a Christmas show if it didn't, but I won't spoil the endin. Let's just say that bein different comes in uncommon handy for Rudolph and Hermey.

This picture was narrated by Burl Ives as Sam The Snowman, who is a folksingin type of feller and sings some songs in this picture when they need to get some more of the plot goin. In fact it is a musical, and there are some right nice tunes in it, cause of course it wouldn't do to have them just singin Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer all the way through, even if the picture is all about him. Turns out that Johnny Marks feller wrote all the other songs and music for this picture too, and that is good cause it ties everythin all together a right smart. Folks what come up with somethin good to start with ought to have a hand in the rest of it, I say.

So I am done here, and blessins be on you all. I shall be back tomorrow to write up the second part of my review, and I am hopin that you shall be back for our MonsterGrrls' 25 Days Of Christmas. Blessed be to you all this here holiday season!

Sincerely,
Petronella Nightshade

MAD DOCTOR'S POST-MORTEM: We sadly report the death of sci-fi's perennial high elder, Forrest J. Ackerman, without whom the Grrls might never have happened. Click here for the story.

Review Of SANTA CLAUS CONQUERS THE MARTIANS... seriously. By John Rose

Oh, yes we did.

Santa Claus Conquers The Martians (1964) should be seen at least one time during Christmas, preferably in the company of trusted friends with lots of strong eggnog to drink. Yes, it is a bad film. But the thing that makes this film bad is not the sets (though cheesy in that 1960's way), the special effects (though very ineptly done) or the costumes (though every single Martian in the production looks almost exactly like a human version of Hanna-Barbera's Great Gazoo). What makes this film troublesome to watch is the snail's pace at which it sets up its story.

The rather interesting plot (on paper, anyway) has the planet of Mars facing a big problem: the children of Mars (one of whom is a young Pia Zadora) are becoming unhappy and restless due to the Martian lifestyle, which has them being taught by machines and eating food pills (which look like jelly beans, only I'm not sure Brach's, Jelly Belly, or even Bertie Bott's Every Flavored Beans has ever experimented with the hamburger-flavored bean). Because of this, Martian children are openly rebelling, spending all their time watching television transmissions from Earth, specifically those of KID-TV, which is broadcasting live from Santa's workshop at the North Pole. (Note the snow on the newscaster's coat, which never melts.)

Kimar (Leonard Hicks), the worried ruler of Mars, consults an ancient Martian sage named Chochem, who reveals that the children of Mars need to have time to be children, and that Mars needs a Santa Claus. Another Martian named Voldar (Vincent Beck), who thinks things are okay the way they are, protests this idea vehemently, cluing us in as to who the true villain of the piece is. (Duh.) Undaunted by this, and out of concern for his own children, Kimar travels to Earth with a Martian landing party in a ship that can only be described as the Eggbeater 2000, with intentions of kidnapping Santa and bringing him to Mars. After abducting two Earth children who lead him to the North Pole, Kimar captures Santa (John Call) with the aid of a robot who looks like an old-fashioned robot toy (which is turned into the same by Santa), while Martian-servant and resident annoying klutz Drupo (Bill McCutcheon) tries unsuccessfully to help the children escape. Santa returns with Kimar's party to Mars, along with the Earth children, and sets up a giant toy factory to help the Martians with their unhappy children, but it's still not the end of trouble, as far as Voldar is concerned...

The movie has lots, and I mean lots, of bad things going for it. There are the horrible sets, costumes and acting, the obvious shoestring budget, the heavy, heavy use of stock footage (especially in the opening scenes, which makes the setup drag terribly), and the fact that John Call's Santa, while being what a Santa ought to be in looks and disposition, behaves much like some odd form of Alzhemier's patient. However, there are some good things going for it storywise: the Martians (with the exception of Voldar) are not warmongering types by nature, and Kimar is pretty adamant all the way through about not harming anyone or destroying anything if he can help it. (This can be taken as a somewhat threadbare explanation for the Martians' ray-guns, which fire no rays of any type but simply go "pop" and freeze the victim.) And Drupo, who is viewed as 'the laziest man on Mars' by other Martians, finally finds the job he was born to do, and becomes the Martian version of Santa Claus.

I cannot recommend this film as a dazzling Christmas movie by any means. Yet strangely enough, it does manage to retain some proper Christmas spirit, which is a task that some modern Christmas productions with ten times the talent and budget cannot manage to do. Perhaps it should be viewed at least once because of that, if you can swallow any inhibitions you may have and watch it. (That's what the eggnog's for.)


POST-MORTEM: If you harbor morbid curiosities about this film, try your usual method of movie rentals first. For the severely crazed, Amazon.com has it at a fairly cheap price, but sometimes public-domain DVD copies can be found in dollar stores. (We got ours from Dollar Tree.) --M.D.

THE HISTORY OF CHRISTMAS CARDS By Frankie Franken

Hello, everybody! Gosh, can you believe that it's time for Christmas again? Welcome to our 25 Days Of Christmas, and today we're talking about something everybody knows about but probably hasn't thought about much--Christmas cards!

The first commercially produced Christmas cards were commissioned in 1843 by Sir Henry Cole of London, and showed a family drinking wine and celebrating. Because there was a small child in the picture, this was considered controversial, but the idea caught on. The price was right, too--one shilling each! But most early Christmas cards, however, didn't show winter or religious scenes, or even Santa Claus. Instead they showed scenes of fairies or flowers to remind everyone of the oncoming season of Spring. Even more popular were humorous scenes of animals and children, as well as very elaborate shaped and decorated cards. In 1875, Louis Prang introduced Christmas cards to America, and they caught on quickly.

Throughout the 20th century, Christmas cards proved to be very profitable for many stationery manufacturers, and card design continuously evolved with changing tastes and new printing techniques. During the World Wars, many Christmas cards were patriotic in theme. Nostalgic, sentimental, and religious themes are still very popular, and even today, many people who want to send old-style Victorian and Edwardian cards, like the early Christmas cards, can still do so.

Today, technology has changed the Christmas card somewhat. Many retailers such as Hallmark offer a line of e-cards that can be sent through email, and these often have animated images and little video games. Some websites even offer such cards for free! But the Christmas card made of paper that is sent in an envelope still continues to be popular; in 2005, 1.9 billion cards were sent in the U.S.!

So the next time you see a Christmas card, think about sending a few out. If you're raised on technology, it might seem silly, but as we monsterkind know, sometimes "Zer Old Vays" do turn out to be the best! Merry Christmas, everybody!

See you tomorrow for more of The MonsterGrrls' 25 Days Of Christmas!

Sincerely,
Frankie Franken

POST-MORTEM: Our images are from Emotions Greeting Cards, who have webpages about the history of Christmas cards and several galleries of old-style cards for all holidays, including Christmas and Halloween! Click here to view and read!

Review Of EMMET OTTER'S JUG-BAND CHRISTMAS By Punkin Nightshade

Howdy, y'all! This here's Petronella Nightshade, but if you's new to comin here, most everbody calls me Punkin. Well, I swan if we ain't busy now doin MonsterGrrls' 25 Days Of Christmas, and y'all are most welcome. Some folks is concerned about us bein monsterkind and doin Christmas and such, but we are gettin on fine. Christmas is a happy time for most, and durin the winter when the trees is all bare and everythin's cold, folks need somethin to pick them up.

Today I am here doin a review of a Christmas TV show called Emmet Otter's Jug-Band Christmas. This show was based on a storybook by Russell and Lillian Hoban, and it was made by Jim Henson, who is the feller what made up the Muppets, and everbody in this show is some kind of Muppet or another. This show has been put out on DVD, but they ain't done it right. It was narrated by that Kermit The Frog, who was Mr. Jim Henson's alter-ego or some such, if you believe in that sort of thing, and the first part of it had old Kermit ridin down the road on a bicycle. But this DVD don't have that in it, and folks writin reviews on Amazon.com has made boocoo noise about this, so I am hopin that they will do one where all that's put back in. It's kinda somethin to see a frog ride a bicycle. You know since their legs is long they could probly get them up some good speed, but all that don't mean nothin until you actually see it.

The story of this show is that Emmet Otter is a little otter feller who lives in a place called Frogtown Hollow and is scrapin up a livin with his widowed Mama, doin odd jobs while she takes in sewin and laundry. Christmas is comin and it's lookin like Emmet and Ma ain't gonna have much celebration cause they can't afford no gifts, until they hear about a talent show in which first prize is fifty dollars. Both Ma Otter and Emmet want to enter the contest and win the money so's they can buy the other'n a nice present for Christmas, but they got to make some hard decisions. Ma needs to get herself some material for a dress, so she goes out and hocks Emmet's tool chest, while Emmet has got to put a hole in Ma's washtub to make a washtub bass so he can play in a jug band with his friends. It's a tough situation when you got to do such as that, and it ain't helpin that there's a gang of bad fellers from Riverbottom playin in the show too, or that Emmet and his band got to change oars in midstream when some other feller plays the song they're goin to play.

Now, I know this don't sound like no pick-me-up show, but it got an uncommon happy endin, so I am thinkin that it is a good Christmas show. Both Ma and Emmet are tryin to do somethin nice for the other, so that is all right cause that is in the Christmas spirit, but it's still kinda hard to watch when Emmet puts a hole in that washtub. The music for the show was writ by Paul Williams, who is a singin and songwritin type feller. The sets and scenery on this show is really somethin to see, and there's all kind of Muppet puppetry goin on, from regular old Muppets to some Muppets up on strings, and most of the other fellers who are always workin with Mr. Jim Henson are here. All in all, even if this DVD done been cut up, what is here is a crackerjack and I am thinkin it is nice for Christmas, but since it ain't got the frog ridin the bicycle, you might want to try to get it as cheap as you can.

So I am done here, and hopin you will turn up tomorrow for the next MonsterGrrls' 25 Days Of Christmas, cause we are doin first one thing and then another just like we was round Halloween time. Blessed be to you all, and Happy Holidays!

Sincerely,
Petronella Nightshade

GOD REST YE MERRY, MONSTERGRRLS By John Rose

Mad Doctor's Note: This first saw the dark of night in 2006, when the media and the world had begun to argue about whether the holiday should be called Christmas or not. It is a saddening thing to see people become so anxious and sensitive that they are unable to properly celebrate a holiday without offending one another. This story was, and still is, a response to that trend.
This story is written in the manner of the Gospel Of Luke as a literary device, and is not intended to spoof or be interpreted as holy writ.

And it came to pass in those days, that at Clearwater High School there went out a decree from Ron Herschel, principal of Clearwater High School, that there should be a Christmas pageant. And this pageant was of course held every year at Clearwater High School, and this present situation was of long standing. And there were some rather different students at Clearwater High School in these days, of whom were monsterkind, and their names were Frankie, Bethany, Harriet, and Punkin, and they were called the MonsterGrrls by those who knew them.
And Mr. Herschel, who was uncertain about how others would react to the Grrls being in the Christmas pageant, issued another decree that these rather different students at Clearwater, having their own way of celebrating the season, should be exempt from being in the Christmas pageant. And the MonsterGrrls, especially Bethany, were sore vexed.
And the night of the pageant came, and all went to the school, that they may see this thing which was done. And the school board from the central office came, and all went every one unto their own seat in the auditorium. And so it was, that, while they all were there seated, that backstage, some last-minute changes were made within the pageant. And no one in the auditorium knew of these changes, save for the drama teacher, who kept these things and pondered them in his heart as he took his seat.
And lo, the auditorium darkened. And on the stage came a girl of very tall stature, whose skin was of a strange green color, and she bowed to the audience and said unto them, Hello, everybody, my name is Frankie Franken, and welcome to the Clearwater High Christmas pageant. And Mr. Herschel, who sat within the front row, was sore vexed, but could do nothing.
And the curtain went up, and lo, there were shepherds onstage abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night, as it is written. And Frankie narrated unto the audience, and said unto them, It was a lonely night in the fields outside of Bethlehem. And there was a noise backstage, and the audience did hear a snippish voice say unto someone, Get the lights up, you, before I give you such a ding about the ear. And the lights went up, and there on the stage was a stable, and in the stable were Joseph and Mary with their babe in the manger, looking sore confused, for it was not their cue. And Frankie said unto the audience, See, there is Bethlehem.
And then an angel jumped out and shouted, Hey, you shepherd guys! And the angel was of a furry countenance, and her costume was proof unto the audience of hasty dressing; yea, her wings and halo were askew. And she carried a big golden star on a stick, and ran around the shepherds waving it, and shouted, Hey you guys, I am shining the glory of the Lord all around you, like it says in the script. And the audience was briefly amused, but the shepherds were sore afraid.
And the angel straightened her halo and said unto them, Hey you shepherd guys, fear not, for I am Harriet, I mean the Angel guy, and behold, I’ve got good tidings of great joy and stuff, and it’s for the people. And she waved at the audience with a big toothy grin and said unto them, And it’s for you guys too. And the angel pointed at the manger and said, Unto you is born this day in that manger over there a Saviour, who is Christ The Lord like it says in the script. And this is my sign unto you: if you go over there where Gerald and Sarah, I mean Joseph and Mary, are sitting in the stable thing, ye shall find the babe wrapped up in swaddling stuff and lying in the manger thing. And the angel ran up and down the stage waving the star and shouting, Glory to God and stuff, and on Earth peace and goodwill to all you guys, and hi to Mr. Herschel. And Mr. Herschel, who sat in the front row, shrank down in his seat, for he was sore vexed.
And it came to pass, as the angel was dragged off the stage by Bethany, a pale-skinned Grrl of angry features, that Frankie came forward and narrated unto the audience, and said unto them, Well, after that happened, the shepherds said that they would go to Bethlehem and see this thing that the angel has made known unto us. And she waved the shepherds forward.
And the shepherds, remembering where they were, went to the manger with much haste, and found that it was as the angel had said. And many looks of confusion were traded amongst them, for no one knew what was going on. And behold, three wise men appeared, carrying gold and frankincense and myrrh. And Frankie said unto the audience, And a few days later, three wise men came, following the star to find the baby that was born at Bethlehem.
And the angel with the star ran back onstage, and jumped in front of the wise men, and shouted to the audience, See, you guys, here is the star. And the angel ran across the stage to the stable and held the star over it, and jumped up and down and shouted, Over here, you wise men guys, over here! And Mr. Herschel, who sat in the front row, did put his head in his hands.
And the pale-skinned Grrl who was called Bethany came out from stage right and shouted unto the angel, Harriet, will you get back here, for heaven’s sake! And the angel said unto them, Oops, and ran offstage. And Frankie said quickly unto the audience, And the wise men were sent by King Herod, and because Herod wanted to harm the child, there came a dream unto the wise men, and they were warned not to return to Herod. And one of the wise men raised his hand and said, That wasn’t in the script. And Frankie said unto him, Yes it is, because we checked in the Gospel Of Luke and it’s there.
And lo, another angel was shoved out onstage by Bethany, and she had frazzled blond hair, and was wearing a pointed hat that had been hastily painted white, and her halo was ringed around it. And she said unto the wise men, Um, hey you wise men fellers, I am Punkin, I mean the Angel, and I been sent in this here dream to tell you that you better not go back to that King Herod ‘cause he’s gonna do somethin’ bad to this here baby. And one of the wise men said unto the angel, You’re not an angel, you’re a witch, because you’ve got that pointy hat. And the angel said unto him, No I ain’t, ‘cause I got some wings an’ a halo too, an’ you just better do what I say an’ go home an’ not tell no Kings about no babies or nothin’. And the angel who had appeared with the star ran back onstage and said unto them, That’s right! Don’t go back to King Herod, or I’ll bust you one! And Bethany came onstage and shouted unto the first angel, Harriet, it is not your cue, and that is not how angels are supposed to act! Will you please get back here!
And lo, every one of them began arguing loudly, and the pageant was thrown into confusion and disarray. And Frankie said unto them, Hold on a minute! And everyone stopped arguing and stared at her, and Frankie said unto them, This isn’t right. And Frankie went to the center of the stage, and she was joined by Bethany and Punkin and Harriet.
And Frankie spoke unto the audience and said, There’s been an awful lot of argument and debate going on over these events that you have seen depicted here tonight. Some people think that we place too much emphasis on these events at this time of the season, and some people think that we don’t place enough emphasis on them. But we think that the most important thing about all of it is that the Creator who made this world sent the baby in the manger as a Gift unto all people. And we think that’s pretty cool, that the Person who made everything here would do something like that. And if we messed everything up tonight, we’re sorry, but we wanted to be part of this great thing too. So I would like to say unto you, Merry Christmas to all of you.
And Punkin said unto them, Peace be unto you, and God rest ye merry.
And Bethany said unto them, God bless us, every one.
And Harriet said unto them, That’s what Christmas is all about, Charlie Brown.
And there was a silence in the auditorium among the people. And lo, a sound of applause began, and it was Sarah, who was playing Mary that year. And Gerald, who was playing Joseph, began to applaud too. And then the shepherds applauded, and the wise men did lay their gifts down around the manger, and they applauded too. And Mr. Herschel, in spite of himself, began applauding. And the school board president applauded, and the other board members did applaud also. And the sound increased, and it came to pass that everyone in the auditorium was soon applauding. And Frankie smiled and said unto them, The End. And all the Grrls and the cast did take a bow. And everyone who attended said unto one another that this year’s Christmas pageant was perhaps the strangest Christmas pageant they had ever seen, but they also said unto one another that it was probably the best Christmas pageant ever.
And in Clearwater, there was much rejoicing!

We end today's post with this quote from Frederick Buechner:

"Adeste fidelis. Come and behold him. Speak to him or be silent before him. In whatever way seems right to you and at whatever time, come to him with your empty hands. The great promise is that to come to him who was born at Bethlehem is to find coming to birth within ourselves something stronger and braver, gladder and kinder and holier, than ever we knew before or than ever we could have known without him."

Review Of 'TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS By John Rose

For today's post I share another favorite Christmas special--'Twas The Night Before Christmas, created by Rankin Bass, who brought us Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer, Frosty The Snowman, and a number of other stop-motion and animated classics, including the immortal Mad Monster Party.

Based (if somewhat loosely) on the classic poem by Clement C. Moore, 'Twas The Night relates the story of a small turn-of-the-century town called Junctionville, which discovers that all its letters to Santa are being returned post-haste, and on the week before Christmas. Discovering that an insulting and anonymous letter to Santa questioning his existence has been printed in Junctionville's newspaper, signed "all of us," Father Mouse (George Gobel, who also narrates the story despite the credits listing Joel Grey as narrator), a mouse who works as a partner to a clockmaker named Joshua Trundle (Grey), immediately suspects his know-it-all son Albert (Tammy Grimes) as the culprit--and he's right. With Christmas only days away, Father Mouse and the Trundles devise a singing clock tower that will play a special song to coax Santa into visiting Junctionville, but unfortunately, Albert enters the clock and damages it, disgracing Trundle's reputation and the town Mayor's as well.

Everything does turn out OK in the end, as this is a Christmas special, and we do hear the classic poem in its entirety. But that's not the reaon why I like this special, which is something of an underdog in the Rankin-Bass canon. Mostly, it's Gobel's narration and the simple warmth of the story, which is another tale about misunderstanding and redemption, even if the poem is sort of shoehorned in at the end. Still, the half-hour it takes to watch this simple little tale is, in my opinion, hardly wasted. Instead of an enormous holiday feast, consider it a mug of Christmas cocoa and a bowl of hot soup after a few dozen hours or so hanging up lights outside, and you'll discover the charm of 'Twas The Night.

Join us back here tomorrow for further flights of holiday horror-business with The MonsterGrrls' 25 Days Of Christmas, and just remember... you'd better watch out!

POST-MORTEM: This special and other Rankin-Bass holiday specials are now available on the DVD sets The Original Christmas Classics and Classic Christmas Favorites, available from Amazon.com. Click the links to view and order.

A GRINCHLY HISTORY By John Rose

Well, as you can see, I Grinched up for the holidays. Welcome to The MonsterGrrls' 25 Days Of Christmas, and today we're bringing you a little history of another holiday classic that turns up around this time of year--Dr. Seuss's immortal How The Grinch Stole Christmas, one of our favorites.

Told in rhyming verse, the story introduces the Grinch, a bitter and angry creature who lives apart from the happy town of Whoville and is regularly disgusted and annoyed by their huge and somewhat loud Christmas celebration. At his wits' end, Grinch suddenly seizes upon "a wonderful, awful idea," which is to sneak down to Whoville on Christmas Eve disguised as Santa Claus and steal everything the Whos have prepared for Christmas, down to gifts, toys, trees, decorations, and food for their feast. His plan is both successful and heinous, as at one point he openly lies to a child, Cindy Lou Who, about taking the tree "back to my workshop" to fix a broken light. With everything in his sleigh, he goes to the top of Mount Crumpit with plans of dumping all, until he hears the Whos singing below, "without any presents at all." He realizes then that the Christmas season is more than gifts and presents, and returns to Whoville to give back the Whos' Christmas trappings, joining the Whos for their feast.

This very simple story, originally published in 1957, has become a holiday perennial. One reason it's one of my favorite stories is not only because of my discovery of it through Chuck Jones' animated film made in 1966 (which was narrated by the great Boris Karloff) but also because of its very subtle message of redemption being possible for anyone, even a Grinch. At this time of year, with all the stress and strain of the holiday, this tale is one we need to remember. And obviously others feel the same way, because in addition to the Jones feature (which shows up every Christmas on TV without fail), Zero Mostel narrated an LP version in 1975, the Old Globe Theatre in San Diego has run a musical stage version every Christmas since 1998, and leave us not forget Ron Howard's live-action movie featuring Jim Carrey at his manic best in the title role. Also, the Grinch musical will be hitting Broadway in a limited-engagement tour this year.

But perhaps the last word on this celebrated Yuletide anti-hero comes from our good Doctor himself. Seuss once received a letter from two peer-pressured New Jersey siblings who also happened to be named Grinch, asking if he would change the Grinch's name. Seuss responded with this reply, "I disagree with your friends who 'harass' you. Can't they understand that the Grinch in my story is the Hero of Christmas? Sure... he starts out as a villain, but it's not how you start out that counts. It's what you are at the finish."

Amen... and Merry Grinchmas to all.

POST-MORTEM: Keep an eye on the Harbinger for reviews of both the Grinch's animated special and his live-action movie as we continue our 25 Days Of Christmas celebration!

Review Of THE NIGHTMARE BEFORE CHRISTMAS By Bethany Ruthven

Good evening, darlings, and thank you for reading. We are pleased to welcome you to The MonsterGrrls' 25 Days Of Christmas, and while I understand that some people may be bothered by the idea of monsters presenting Christmas... well, take a look at the current newsmedia bollocks involving whether or not to even call the holiday "Christmas." Quite honestly, there are some people, aren't there, who aren't presenting it so well, don't you think?

So we'll kick off the holiday season with something that is, for the other Grrls and myself, a bit close to home--Tim Burton's delightful animated opus The Nightmare Before Christmas. This film, directed by Henry Selick with music and songs by Danny Elfman, was originally released in 1993 under Disney's Touchstone Pictures banner (due to the Mouse Factory's fears that the movie would be too scary for the little ones). It has garnered much critical and financial success and inspired many other filmmakers and artisans (see our own Mad Doctor's review of this film for possible spawning of same). Inspired by a Burton-penned Christmas poem, this film was completed by director Henry Selick in the time-honored yet time-consuming method of stop-motion puppet animation. This same method would be returned to again in another Burton film, The Corpse Bride (reviewed during Halloween by our Punkin), but Nightmare remains a catalyst for much creative inspiration.

Bored with creating mad Halloween fetes each year for the citizens of Halloweentown, Jack Skellington (voiced by Chris Sarandon and sung by Elfman), stumbles by accident into Christmastown. Attracted by the beauty and joy he sees, Jack returns to Halloweentown to tell the others of his find, but fails to make them understand his new feelings (which is compounded by the fact that he doesn't really understand Christmas himself). As Jack's obsession grows, he decides to take over Christmas, even going so far as to kidnap Santa Claus with the aid of Lock (Paul Reubens), Shock (Catherine O'Hara) and Barrel (Elfman), three trick-or-treaters who also serve as henchmen of the evil bug-munching bogeyman-gambler Oogie Boogie (Ken Page), who has plans of his own for poor Claus. Despite warnings of great danger by rag-doll Sally (O'Hara), who secretly loves him, Jack careens off in a coffin-sleigh led by eight bony reindeer and his faithful ghost-dog Zero to deliver well-meaning but hellish gifts for what he believes will be a joyous Christmas, with disastrous results.

This skewed Christmas fable can be viewed as the perfect remedy if you are suffering through having your holiday taken over by well-meaning yet ill-mannered PC watchdogs who fear mention of religion in an historically religious holiday, and it has just been re-released on DVD in a treat-packed double-disc package that allows for a digital copy for your computer, iPod, iPhone or similar electronic media output. Including many behind-the-scenes features, a tour of Disney's special Haunted Mansion Holiday celebration, and Tim Burton's first stop-motion experiment Vincent as well as a new uncut version of his infamous short film Frankenweenie, this new release of a humbly created holiday underdog fully deserves the title of modern Christmas classic. Do yourself a favor, darlings, and pick up this wonderful treat.

We delight in entertaining you for this festive season, and do hope you shall return tomorrow for the next installment of The MonsterGrrls' 25 Days Of Christmas. Just remember, you'd better watch out...

Regards,
Bethany Ruthven

POST-MORTEM: For a backward look at the impact of Nightmare, click here to read an essay by John Scalzi, who reports on genre films and other oddities for the AMC Television Channel's weblog.

31 DAYS OF HALLOWEEN AFTERMATH: THE END CREDITS

A Personal Message From The Mad Doctor

And so it ends. For now, anyway.

This is the first time we have ever attempted to blog for an entire month straight, and we are proud to say that we did it. Every day we found something new to talk about, and we even found unexpected support and made new friends.

In the future, we're going to try to post more often on the Harbinger, not just to tell you our stuff but also to give you more news on some of the horror and monster-related stuff that we enjoy. Bethany is shutting down her Pitiless Observations column to give more straightforward reviews, and she has graciously allowed the other Grrls to join her permanently, because all of them really enjoyed writing to you this month. (Especially Punkin.) And what are we gonna do next year? Well, to quote Bethany, that would be telling. But there will be a new post here soon.

We also have some others we would like to thank, who made our 31 Days Of Halloween so special:

• Simon McCorkindale of Mary Shelley Overdrive.
• Ray Keim, the Ghost Host of Haunted Dimensions.
• The webmaster/Keeper of ATOMIC MONSTERS.
• Ray O'Bannon, the mayor of Ravensblight.
• The Young Werewolves, who have just unleashed their new redesigned website on the world.
  

And special thanks go to all of my family, friends and ardent supporters, including Claudia and Charlie White, the West Family (Greg, Kay, Zephyr and Katie-Brooke) Sandi and Seth Wheatley, Chris Brown, Charla Miley, Bob Collins, the Missisippi Writers' Guild (both state and local) and the whole of our Facebook FANG CLUB Members, and all other FANG CLUB Members everywhere!

And as Harriet would say, that's all for that... but just wait until next year!

END
(ROLL UP! ROLL UP!)

31 DAYS LATER

Today is the last celebration day of Day Of The Dead, or Dia De Los Muertos. This is an annual Mexican holiday in which friends and family gather to celebrate the memories of those who have died, and it usually occurs after Halloween, taking up the first and second days of November. Families will gather at cemeteries with homemade altars that have sweets (usually sugar skulls), marigolds, and favorite foods and beverages of the departed. They believe that during this time, it's easier for the dead to hear the prayers of the living, and hope to encourage visits by the departed, in order that they may hear the prayers and remembrances of their loved ones.

We of European descent celebrate these as well. They are called All Saints Day and All Souls Day, and it's not unusual for some of us to take off work and go to the cemetery with candles and flowers for those we remember. Some even give their children gifts and sweets on this day.

I suppose that for the past few weeks now, I've been doing some of this myself. A friend of mine died recently, and some other friends and I have been cleaning out her house for her brother, who lives in Philadelphia. During that time as we sorted things and cleaned and straightened, we remembered her and talked about things she did and enjoyed. We didn't build an altar or anything, but we remembered our friend.

I look at these things that others do to remember their dead, and I think of all the times we've seen people speak out against Halloween, showing us its pagan origins, telling us it's a demon's holiday, and so on. I can't deny that the season has a shadowed past, but I also can't deny that sometimes we need to have wonder and mystery in our lives. We need a taste, if only a taste, of ghosts and monsters, of horror and death, to remind us that life is fleeting and that it can be done with before we know it, to remind us of what true evil is. Sometimes evil happens not because someone makes a deal with the devil or because someone builds a monster in a castle laboratory, but because people don't remember.

My departed friend sent me cards with a message every year for most major holidays, including Halloween. She also sent me a message in her death, which was to try to remember. Not just the bad things, but the good things too. I hope that in the future, I can do a better job of this. I will try.

In pace requiescat.

For the memory of Barbara Miles. Memento mori.

HALLOWEEN: From Carpenter To Zombie--A Not-So-Comparative Review

Well, gang, today is officially Halloween, and I'll quote my Creature-Grrl Frankie and say, Hello, everybody! I can tell you, this has been a ball and a half for all of us in the Monster Shop. Today for our last official post for The MonsterGrrls' 31 Days Of Halloween, I'm going to discuss one of the long-time favorites of this beloved holiday: the movie Halloween.

The horror movie, after being initially reviled in its early years, is now a perennial. From the German-Impressionist-influenced Grand Guignol theatre of The Cabinet Of Dr. Caligari to the celebrated and revered Gothic offerings of Universal Studios and England's Hammer Films, to the suspense, shock and terror of slasher films such as Alfred Hitchcock's Psycho and Tobe Hooper's The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, to today's offerings such as the Japanese-inspired The Ring and The Grudge and the intricate killing machines of the new Saw series, horror has become a driving force in the entertainment industry and the creative world. H. P. Lovecraft once stated that "the oldest and strongest emotion of mankind is fear," and it is possible that he was on to something.

Though many people watch them any time of the year, horror movies are most popular around Halloween. In 1978, horror fans got their own personal holiday film when John Carpenter released Halloween, a bogeyman story of a killer named Michael Myers who is described as "pure evil" by Dr. Sam Loomis, a psychiatrist who tracks the escaped Myers from the mental hospital where he has been incarcerated since 1963 to the town of Haddonfield, Illinois, where Myers, then six years old, first murdered his older sister Judith on Halloween night. Halloween went on to become one of Hollywood's most profitable independent films, becoming enthusiastically accepted into horror canon and spawning a number of "slash-alikes" in addition to six sequels and two other films that supposedly "ended" the series, Halloween H2O: 20 Years Later (written specifically for the audience that had "rediscovered" teen horror films thanks to Wes Craven's Scream series) and Halloween: Resurrection. The sequel picked up directly after the events of Halloween, and began a retconning of the Michael Myers character to explain his disappearance--Michael was possessed, it seemed, by an evil cult's curse that drove him to kill his family as a sacrifice.

Last year, Halloween saw a new spawn enter the limelight. Director/musician Rob Zombie, who had made a name for himself in horror with his films House Of 1000 Corpses and The Devil's Rejects, was responsible for bringing a new version of Halloween to the screen. The new film has been described as being more of a re-imagining of the Michael Myers legend than a direct sequel to any of the films that have preceded it.

For myself and the Grrls, Halloween is a rather personal film. It has the distinction of being the only film of the slasher genre to be fully approved by the Monster Shop (with the ardent disclaimer that young children should not be allowed to watch) and years after my initial viewing of it, I still find it a scary and excellently conceived film that outshines most of its peers. I was not pleased with the notion of there being a new version of Halloween, nor was I enthusiastic about Rob Zombie as a directorial choice. I had seen House Of 1000 Corpses (or, as I have referred to it, House Of 1000 Texas Chainsaw Massacres) and because of that film I was not moved to view Devil's Rejects at all. I could see that for the most part, Zombie paid more attention to whirlwind, heat and flash than such things as a decent story and discernible plot. By the same token, I was also aware that worse directorial choices existed, such as Eli Roth, whose complete garbage known as the Hostel movies is now part of the horror scene and jump-started the despicable "torture-porn" subgenre of horror. So I would have taken Zombie over Roth any day of the week--at least Zombie loved the original film...

With these things in mind, I have determined to present a look at both of these films and discuss them for our readers here at the Harbinger on this very special day. So let's drag them onto the slab and see what's sticky...

(Warning: there will be spoilers. If you have not seen either film, stop here.)

The Original

The original Halloween tells a simple, uncomplicated story, one that a group of teenage kids might actually have told each other on Halloween night at a get-together. The film opens by showing the murder of Judith Myers by her brother Michael, and we view this through a first-person perspective, which not only adds to the horror but traps us within it: we see what the killer sees. This becomes more clear when the killer dons a mask and we view his perspective through the eyeholes, all the way up to the murder (which, for its time, showed only slight nudity and very little blood, most of it on Michael's hands). We are not given a reason for this murder, and it becomes worse when in the final part of this scene, our mystery killer is revealed to be a six-year-old boy in a clown costume. The shot, of young Michael with bloody hands and bloody knife standing between his middle-class upwardly mobile parents, is not only horrifying but sad, which works well. Horror, at its heart, is a story of tragedy.

Cut to the same neighborhood, 1978, Halloween. Laurie Strode (Jamie Lee Curtis) is a "good girl" who is being stalked by the now-adult Michael Myers (Nick Castle) who has returned to Haddonfield after his escape from Smith's Grove Sanitarium. Myers, in turn, is being pursued by psychiatrist Samuel Loomis (Donald Pleasance) who has had Myers under his care for years, and now describes him as "evil." Because of this, Loomis had planned to have Myers committed indefinitely, but Myers has escaped and returned to Haddonfield, presumably to begin killing again--which he does, in short order. The ghostlike Myers manages to kill Laurie's friends Annie (Nancy Kyes), Linda (P.J. Soles) and Linda's boyfriend Bob (John Michael Graham) before finally catching Laurie in the house she was babysitting in. Despite Laurie's efforts with a knitting needle, a clothes hanger and a knife, Myers is unstoppable, and Loomis is forced to shoot him six times with a gun. Myers falls out of the bedroom window, and Laurie is saved... but they discover afterward that the body is nowhere to be found...

This film, while very stylistic, is kept simple, and shows none of the excesses or machinations that would precede it or other films in the Halloween series. The film's ordinary settings and continuous first-person perspective contribute to the oppressive feel, trapping the audience within the story along with protagonist Laurie, whose "good-girl" attributes and responsible behavior are a sharp contrast to her peers Annie and Lynda. The murders, while shocking for their time, are relatively low on gore, and the nudity is understated as well (in a key scene, when Michael Myers has just killed Lynda's boyfriend Bob and is appearing before her in Bob's glasses and a sheet, the camera actually moves away from P.J. Soles' bared breasts). The score, written and performed by Carpenter himself, is now as familiar to us as Mike Oldfield's "Tubular Bells" from The Exorcist and contains many jarring electronic notes and effects. The elegance and quietness of this film would sadly suffer in later sequels, but despite the gimmickry and additional gore of these later films in the inevitable Halloween series, the original film still retains a status of mastery among horror fans and students of horror filmmaking.

The Remake

In June of 2006, it was announced that metal musician/horror auteur Rob Zombie would be directing a new Halloween film, a remake of the original 1978 film. Zombie announced that the film would not be a "remake" in the sense of Gus Van Sant's ill-fated shot-for-shot-recreation of Alfred Hitchcock's Psycho, but instead would combine elements of prequel and remake, delving deeper into Myers' back story and revealing the reason why he wears the mask.

This all looked great on paper. The actual film itself comes across as a strange and sometimes wrongheaded hodgepodge of elements that in many ways seem vastly over-stylized when compared to the simplicity of the remake. Zombie's new film begins by revealing the home life of the young Michael Myers, played by newcomer child actor Daeg Faerch. Instead of the middle-class upbringing we see in the original film, Michael is the product of a white trash family, including Deborah, his loving but helpless mother who works as a stripper in a bar (Sheri Moon Zombie), her disabled, abusive boyfriend/stepfather figure Ronnie (William Forsythe), and his slutty and equally abusive older sister Judith (Hanna R. Hall). The only person in the family that Michael loves, apart from his mother, is his little sister Boo, who (in this film) will eventually grow up to be Laurie Strode. Michael's emotional detachment from the world finally explodes into full-blown psychosis when he brutally murders a classmate who bullies him about his mother's occupation, then kills Ronnie, Judith, and Judith's boyfriend Steve on Halloween night. None of this pays any attention to the fact that the Michael Myers character has already been established in the original film as the product of rather straight-laced whitebread parents, and most of it seems to come from Zombie's apparent obsession with white trash (witness both House Of 1000 Corpses and The Devil's Rejects, both of which prominently feature these character types as main characters).

From here, we see an attempted rehabilitation of Michael by Dr. Samuel Loomis (Malcolm McDowell), who first appears as an oddly hippie-like figure, then gradually becomes... well, Malcolm McDowell. During this part of the film, Michael is taken to Smith's Grove Sanitarium, where he begins to internalize himself on a cue from a well-meaning orderly (Danny Trejo) who tries to help him survive his incarceration. Dr. Loomis and Deborah try desperately but unsuccessfully to reach Michael, and Deborah finally commits suicide after witnessing Michael's murder of a nurse who insults him. Over the next fifteen years, Michael grows into an enormous hulk of a man (professional wrestler-turned-actor Tyler Mane) who constantly wears various homemade masks (some of which look like wrestling masks--if this is supposed to be an in-joke, it's not funny) and will not speak to anyone. Dr. Loomis gains some fame and notoriety off Michael's case, but eventually he throws up his hands and closes the case, as he cannot reach Michael. Everything goes south in a hurry when Michael, during preparations for a transfer to a maximum-security cell, explodes and kills the sanitarium guards, and later a truck driver to obtain his clothes (which is meant to be an exposition on how Michael got the now-famous coverall). Most of these victims are played by the cast of former '70's grindhouse stars that Zombie had utilized for his last two movies, among them Leslie Easterbrook and Ken Foree, who plays the trucker. On Halloween, Michael shows up in Haddonfield and breaks into his now-abandoned former home, recovering the knife and Halloween mask (you know, the mask) from the night he killed his sister.

After this potentially promising but shaky exposition (I mean, c'mon, Rob, you've really got to get over this thing with white trash), it all becomes mainly the story of Halloween as ciphered through Zombie's viewpoint, which is unfortunately probably the same viewpoint he used when he was a teenage kid watching this movie. Laurie is shown to be without innocence, which ends up polluting the whole theme of good versus evil in the original and traps it in the same milieu as modern "torture-porn" horror, making all the characters reprehensible and leaving the audience with nobody to root for. Her friends Annie and Lynda are without individual personalities, which was also not true in the original, and all of Michael's victims, who were simply killed in the original, are not only killed but psychologically tortured, which is too complex a response from a psychopathic killer who is presented as being almost an automaton. Much of the elements that made the original so completely creepy and supernaturally tinged are screwed up because of Zombie's obsessions with grindhouse film and 1970's trash cinema; the missing tombstone from the graveyard, which added an eerieness to the original film, is marred by Zombie's decision to replace the missing tombstone (which had no replacement in the original) with a totem cross wrapped in the corpse of a dead dog. The scene where Michael kills Annie is a literal aping of the first murder scene in The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, all the way down to the sliding door. There is also a lot of what I refer to as Drunken-Monkey-Cam going on in the final third of the movie, which I suppose is meant to heighten the fear, but mostly causes nausea.

In the final scene where Laurie attempts to hide from Michael, she crawls into the wall of the house, and the first word which came to my lips was Saw. This was where the movie fell apart for me completely; there had been numerous and sundry cracks all along, but the whole thing just went belly-up right here. It's one thing when you take a favorite movie (not just your favorite, but one that's everyone else's too) and attempt to remake it into something of your own vision, but it's another thing entirely when you start quoting modern horror movies within it. Plus, Rob Zombie has this weird, weird thing about women crawling on their hands and knees. It happens all through this movie: in the first part where Michael kills his sister, in nearly all the murders of the other female characters, and in this last scene.

Final Conclusion

There's no question about it: the remake is pretty much as bad as the remake of Alfred Hitchcock's Psycho, which I haven't ever viewed, actively boycotted when it was released and still won't watch to this day. It is not worth your time, especially on Halloween, and I would either rent or buy the original or watch one of the hundreds of other, better movies out there, some of which the Grrls and I gave you to play with in our posts this month. But if you don't believe me, here's the opinion of a professional. I had an email communication with Southern mystery writer Carolyn Haines about this movie when it came out, and was given this personal review, which is probably the most damning statement of all:

"I went to see that movie, and my response is a big yawn and a roll of the eyes. Zombie has taken a scary movie about a young girl whose psychopathic brother becomes a killer with supernatural power and turned it into a sleazy, boring bloodfest with scenes of murder so repetitive that they are boring beyond belief. In the original, the audience cared about Jamie Lee Curtis. Not so with any of the characters in this re-make. And worst of all, I detected a blatant thread of misogyny in this re-make. Women, all bloody and some nude, crawl and grovel. Every female killed crawls and grovels. Lots of toe jiggling, too. Men's toes jiggle as they die; women crawl and grovel helplessly. Disgusting. Apparently the directors working in this genre today have a difficult time telling a simple horror story. Perhaps they should go back in time to movies like The Innocents or some of the Boris Karloff Thriller episodes. And if a director can't improve on a film, he/she shouldn't be allowed to copy it. You can post this and use my name if you want to--I'm tired of spending my hard-earned cash for a shoddy film."

And so, to quote Mike Mignola's Hellboy, there you go. Now go get the original and see a real scary movie.

Happy Halloween...